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Feeling let down by my art and my life (all myself)
Let go of all my schedules and I feel like a mess, don't want to do anything, drawing is an exception but I still feel like I'm just doing series of anatomy practices instead of pieces. Don't try to make my """story""" a reality because it ends up being events with no meaning, when i try to make meaning its too literal, or too short sighted, etc.
Can't ask myself what I want to do before I die, because I don't really care, my work and my self feel very pointless to me. The only thing I do with my free time is draw. I enjoy it, but I wish I could give myself a reason to improve it- not just with skill but through a finished, cohesive, sequential series of pieces to convey what I want to convey.
