Quoted By:
A conservative christian heterosexual suburbanite and home owner was teaching a class on Moses, a known motorist.
”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Moses and accept that He was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jacobs!”
At this moment, an urbanist transit geek who isn't a "cyclist" but just happens to ride a bike stood up and held up an OMNY card.
”How much is the fare, pinhead?"
The arrogant NIMBY smirked quite cagily and smugly replied “$2.90, you autistic foamer”
”Wrong. It's been 11 taps in a rolling 7-day period so the next tap is capped at $2.10 since Byford mandated it. If it was $2.90 and fare evasion, as you say, is real… then it should be free now”
The Richmond County denizen was visibly shaken, and dropped her lipitor and printout of HOA bylaws. She stormed out of the room crying those weaponized white woman tears. The same tears cagetrolls cry for the “tenants” (who today live in such luxury that most have rent increases capped by the NYCRGB) when they jealously try to claw justly earned parking spaces from the deserving traffic calming planners. There is no doubt that at this point our cager, Nicole Malliotakis, wished she had sold her cage and become more than just 4mph traffic. She wished so much that she had bike lane to pedal away from embarrassment, but she herself had petitioned against them!
The commuters applauded and all registered libertarian that day and accepted Alon Levy as their lord and savior. An eagle named “REBNY” flew into the room and perched atop the NY State Flag and shed a tear on the Lipitor. NY State of Mind by NAS was sung several times, and Bloomberg himself showed up and enacted a tax on junk food across the 5 boroughs.
The NIMBY lost her bid for City Council and was ejected from the IDC the next day. She died of the beetus and was buried on Hart Island in an unmarked grave.
Eyyyyy I'm walking here. I'm walking here!
