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Ah Tucson. The Mecca of cycling. We even have the Loop which gives 100miles of smooth road around the city's rivers. It's only nice when the big events come to town, 90% of the time outside of big invitational events its crowded with bridge dwelling junkies and hobos covering everything in grafitti and stinking filth. They love to leave their stacks of shopping carts and mattresses in the way. But have no fear golf cart grandpa is here to save the day close to event time! Yep everyone says we're the best to bike in....even though our roads some servicemen say are WORSE THAN AFGHANISTAN DURING WARTIME. That's the line our town politicians are running for in fixing our roads. Sick of driving? Try cycling in the city and risk letting your likely to be forgotten corpse be another ghost bike memorial on another corner that gets crashed by some junkie full speed ahead at some demented senior at some confused migrant. Maybe the Cholas will leave you a sacrament in your memory. That's what intersections look like every time you go outside. You're guaranteed at least one and maybe even a bonus bumper to bumper road rage thereafter. Maybe just go on foot, you're a good runner right? Enjoy your two blocks of travel. Avoid the crime ridden inner city which is where you need to go to get anywhere beyond your fancy suburb.
Want to just sit back and enjoy the scenery? Well Mr Millionaire I hope you like your chauffer, step into your Uber. Oh what about public transportation? Yeah the bus is on strike. They want to get paid more and the sardine people are always getting arrested at the stops. Ah Tucson.
