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>as you can see from the fact that I am wearing $1200 John Lobbs to pedal my $5000 custom made Tru-Temper Stroopwafel Heerfietserwagon™ I am totally just a down to earth regular guy wearing regular clothes I totally didn't special order from an obscure ultra-expensive Copenhagen "not for cyclists" cycling clothes boutique. Why in fact I haven't carefully planned every aspect of my uncyclist image to ape what I saw on vacation in Amsterdam, this is what the Italians call "sprezz", I'm just a carefree guy who happens to be on a bike, which I just happen to own and is not at all a fashion accessory just like my $120 box calf pant leg holder from lapassioe (that's a brand, you've probably never heard of it, I know it looks just like a $2 piece of plastic from Ali Express, I'm not a fashion slave like you it's about UNBRANDING and ARTISANAL CRAFTSMANSHIP)
>Ugh, your bike has a derailleur? How JUDGMENTAL, what YEAR is it you judgmental NIMBY racer boomer?!? No more zoning! Zoning is like checking your tire pressure, this is not a race, why so racist?! Earth tones brother, do cars come in hi-viz? Of course not because the Stvzo would have said so, oh, you've never been to Germany, you absolutely must some time you would love it. Why are you wearing a crash helmet, they don't do that in Amsterdam! Vehicular cycling is TOXIC MASCULINITY, get that disgusting racing bike out of MY city, this is NOT a race! I am SO chill and unraced, not like those JUDGMENTAL tryhards who don't wear all natural fibers in subdued, earth-friendly colors on their leather and steel UNBRAND custom bikes (it doesn't have a model it was made to order because I am so unique!)
