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I was almost killed by a pitbull the other day.
It was at the bottom of a steep hill and I was afraid that it would catch up with me so I slammed my brakes. It lunged at me, but I was faster than he was. I grinned, grabbed my pump, and shoved it up the dogs ass, pumping it until the dumb animal exploded into a million pieces. It's owner ran outside in time to be splattered by the thing's guts then she killed herself on the spot. I wiped the gore off my sunglasses before putting them back on and letting out a chuckle. "I guess you could say that they were all bark and no bite." I lit a cig then rode off into the sunset to f*** my gfs.
