>>1245605>Do I need that cable cutter combo?yes, after you cut your outers, and before you cut your inners, be sure to check the inner slides through them smoothly with no friction. If it doesn't, finish the ends of the cable better, with the tool, a file, and an awl/awl-like object. Get that step right and it will work well.
>I can manage doing brake cables, right?yes, it's not hard
>Can I manage changing the cassette and chain as a sausage fingered twat?yes, it's not hard either, even easier i'd say. Buy a KMC chain, and you won't have to worry about terminating a chain-pin, because it comes with an easy quick-link.
You'll need;
>a chain tool>a chain whip>a cassette tool >How the fuck do I keep the road grime off of this machine? Car wash?I wouldn't. High pressure water can get into your bearings. just get a soapy bucket and a sponge and do it.
For the drivetrain use kerosene + a rag. I'd ignore the chain until it gets loud though, then run it through a kerosened rag a few times, let it dry, lube, let that dry, then run it through a clean rag to get off excess lube. Don't do that excessively as it will just attract dirt and be detrimental.
If you want it to stay clean, some fenders will help.
The Park Tool website & the Sheldon Brown website are best for maintenance walkthroughs, and youtube has stuff too.
Good luck old man and sorry about being laid off