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If I won the lottery which aspie serial killer bike should my hypothetical self buy to show that I'm not a poorfag? The options are all dumpster dive looking titanium and rim brakes with alloy wheels that can't clear more than 25mm and that's with a lot of rubbing due to my obesity, because I'm a fucking sperg who hates things I can't afford and I think of this as a "buy once cry once" kind of purchase:
1. Lynskey
2. Litespeed
No other bikes exist because I'm a pasty, weak, autistic ticking time bomb who looks like Adam Lanza, oh btw it has to be 10 speed for some reason because in my arbitrary definition of "worth it" I picked whatever was state of the art around the time I was potty trained for reasons that I refuse to analyze because that would require the ability to reflect on my own poor choices, p.s. I'm going to put continental tires on it because that's what reddit said I should buy and I currently have memeskins on my hi-ten bikes direct fixie with no brakes. Let's disregard the fact that if I had hundreds of millions of dollars an actual decent bike wouldn't be a big deal to me, I'd still obsess over getting run over by a truck and having my bike frame be the #1 concern on my mind because I have no sense of self preservation or personal worth.
In conclusion, please validate my bizarre schizo opinions also something something china bad MAGA MAGA don't make em like they used to, I only wear denim when I ride because I've never gone more than 2 hours at a time, have I mentioned I'll never have sex? Seethe cope and dial 8.
