>>1034778I hate it when cagers ride my ass while cycling, so I have developed the best defense for these fuckers. I have decided to share it with you my /n/iggas.
1. get the following items from your local Wal-mart.
A water baby (in the girls toy aisle where the lolis roam.) It is a regular looking baby doll with a hollow body that is supposed to be filled with warm water to make the doll all soft and jiggly like a real, no-boned baby.
3 jars of strawberry preserves. (It has to be preserves, jams and jellys don't work as well.
2. Fill the water baby with the strawberry preserves until it just about to bust and dress the baby with the clothes that came with it.
3. The next time someone cuts you off or gets too close, throw the baby out of your window onto their windshield. The will see a jiggly baby go flying toward them and then explode into a pile of bright red and chunky gore.
4. The driver stops and is traumatized for life or gets in a wreck and dies. Either way, that bitch won't be fucking with you again.
