>be me
>riding shit tier bike, probably worn and/or misadjusted drive train components
>drive train skips sometimes (as in all tension on the chain is briefly gone)
>riding hard as fuck on university campus, standing up
>drive train skips
>thrown onto the road at like 20mph
>car behind me stops in time to not hit me
>take bike onto sidewalk
>do the classic "flip bike upside down, pretend to inspect it for damage" in a (probably failed) attempt to make it look like it was my bike's fault, not mine
>it actually was my bike's fault but only I knew that
>lots of people saw
Another time
>be me
>university area again
>on a one-way road
>bike lane is on left side of the road because people are fucktards and put it on the left side where drivers aren't used to seeing cyclists
>cager turns left and almost hits me
>I swerve, avoid being hit by like a millimeter and in doing so, slam into a traffic light post
>cager drives off
I hope she crashed her cage
Another time
>be me
>mountain biking in the river bottoms
>there's a little stream (like 1-2 feet wide)
>gonna ride across it
>it's a more abrupt dip/rise than I realize
>over the bars
>people saw
Another time
>first time riding clipless
>tubeless tires aren't holding pressure, so my tires that are supposed to be 100+psi are at like 50psi, and the wind is like 30mph, and it's night
>doing a short ride just to try out new bike
>at turnaround point
>come almost to a stop
>can't unclip
>not because I'm new to clipless, but because my pedals and cleats were stiff as fuck and almost impossible to clip/unclip until I broke them in
>almost at standstill, can't unclip, keep trying
>slowly fall over onto the grass
Another time
>be me
>be kid on bmx at dirt jump park
>decide to go off edge of berm thinking I can treat it like a jump
>turns out it's more of a drop off
>slam stomach against bars
>ow that hurt
