>going to movies alone
>at home I get my mom to pack me spaghetti in a 2-liter bottle
>put it in my fanny pack
>decide to take the bus
>i ask the bus driver where the bus is going, he says something I don't understand
>I say "e-excuse me?"
>he says something and I still don't understand it
>I get on the bus anyway
>Bus takes me through the blackest of all ghettos
>a bunch of black people get on the bus, hooting and throwing their arms and fingers into various contortions
>I clutch my fanny pack and look away
>they walk past me and one says "LOOK AT DIS FAT WYTE MUTHAFUCKA, GOTS A RUG ON HIS NECK NIGGA WAT IS UP WIT DAT"
>I turn my entire body away and start shaking
>"AW SHIT WE SEEIN SUM CRACK BACK HEAH"
>my pants are exposing my butt
>the black people take out a boom box and start playing "WOOP THERE IT IS" and start dancing around my buttcrack in some sort of tribal ritual
>"LEMME SEE SUM MORE OF DAT"
>I awkwardly pull down my pants more
>"WOOP DERE IT IS" 'YOOOOO I BE LIKIN DIS!' they variously exclaim
>the bus finally stops at the movie theatre
>I take out a marker and draw a face on my butt, and then walk off the bus with my hands
>all of them follow me with their boom box, playing "WOOP THERE IT IS" on repeat
>I hand-walk inside and the security guard stops me, saying that I need to leave because I am being indecent
>this enrages my black followers and they start attacking and eating the guard
>everyone starts screaming
>i nervously take out my spaghetti bottle and try to open it
>the pressure launches it as a bottle rocket into the cashier, killing her
>i realize I had a crush on her
>start crying uncontrollably and my exposed face-butt starts sputtering shit
>everyone suddenly turns to me in a roar of laughter
>go home alone
