Why the fuck are cyclists so insecure. There's always some fact that triggers every kind of cyclist.

Retrogrouch, if you mention integrated shifters being good they'll start talking about the time they passed a dentist.

Commuter, if you say spandex is comfy, they'll start calling you a fag and claim you're the one that's insecure because you think spandex looks better than normal clothes.

Roadie, if you say flat bars they'll tell you about the 43 hand positions in the handa sutra.

Fixiefags, if you mention brakes or gears they start quoting premium rush and that stupid artifice tdf quote.

Gravel, if you mention your cross bike can also do fire roads they get triggered and start claiming the geometry is different.

Triathlete, if you mention you cycle they will explain to you how they're a bigger expert in biking in addition to swimming and running.

Rando, if you mention endurance road bikes being good for rando they go into full denial mode and start talking about Rene Singer.

CX, if you mention MTB I don't even know what the fuck they start whinging about but they get mad.

MTB, if you mention liking climbing they start going on about gnarly downhill shit.

And so on