ill be driving to campus each day. but i want to be able to leave my car in one place

i have a sedan so i cant exactly throw a bicycle back there. and i dont wanna deal with a car mounted bike rack. so lets exclude bikes unless you recommend me some kind of compact, disassembling-on-the-fly bike.

the campus is kinda big so no boards either

soooo i need something that
>is fun (maybe motorized)?
>can fit in a car easily
>doesn't make me automatically a faggot
if i have to learn how that's fine