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BIKE BULLY

Anonymous Sat 14 Sep 2019 11:30:25 No.1390369 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>1390374 >>1390486 >>1390519 >>1390725 >>1390957 >>1391412 >>1392132 >>1394264

Who /bikebully/ here?

Tell us about the times you bullied pedestrians, freds, crusties, skaters, cars, small children and/or woodland creatures

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Sep 2019 11:56:31 No.1390374 Report

Quoted By: >>1390490

>>1390369
>be goose
>shitting all over path with my squad
>everyone scatters
>BOOSH
>feel sharp pain in my neck
>head jerks violently
>everything upside down for a second
>see biker putting foot back on pedal
>die

I've paralyzed and poisoned a few geese on my local path.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Sep 2019 12:04:15 No.1390377 Report

Quoted By:

When pedestrians are walking in the middle of the bike path or being generally inatentive and oblivious, I like to buzz them as close as possible when passing.
I can see that I'm likely going to have to stop for an oblivious idiot, I still wait to the last moment to brake, to make angry skidding noises to scare them.

Children and animals get more consideration from me, but adults should really know better and dog owners and parents need to be made to feel bad for not keeping better track of their little beasts.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Sep 2019 19:07:18 No.1390467 Report

Quoted By:

>ride with roidhead /fit/ buddy
>he's pretty casual because he just rides to speed up his metabolism to digest more food or something but rides a decent road bike with full kit
>bikelane and footpath right next to eachother
>bunch of thots walking in the bike lane
>I ring my bell a couple of times while we ride at speed
>they don't move
>buddy speeds up and hits his (disc) brakes as hard as he can coming to a stop pretty close to them
>the brakes screech like crazy
>he roid rages at them and tells them to get the fuck out of the bike lane
>sounds like he's about to rip their head off
>they look scared as fuck and move aside fast without saying a word
>we go on and laugh

Sometimes I wish I looked like a hulk monster just to scare the shit out of people desu

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Sep 2019 20:18:01 No.1390486 Report

Quoted By: >>1390490

>>1390369
>S works
>raised stem with 3" of spacers
Typical Specialized victim

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO mS7VJ.png, 581KiB, 736x491

Anonymous Sat 14 Sep 2019 20:24:10 No.1390490 Report

Quoted By: >>1390518

>riding on bike path
>guy up ahead walking down the middle
>slow down and say "excuse me. excuse me, sir"
>slow down to a crawl as I approach
>"excuse me. oh, hi. I'm just passing on your left. have a nice day"
>slowly pedal away
>once a couple meters away I start to pick up speed again
>>1390374
Geese are people too. Don't be mean.
>>1390486
I would rather have 3" of spacers than a 3" taller head tube. Tall head tubes are ugly as fuck.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Sep 2019 21:07:08 No.1390500 Report

Quoted By:

I’m prematurely giving the finger to everyone on the rod it seems.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Sep 2019 21:15:14 No.1390501 Report

Quoted By:

sometimes i knock things from people's hands if they're standing in the bike lane or otherwise out of place. i've gotten a couple phones and some coffees so far. if an amazon/ups/fedex guy stacks shit in the bike lane, i knock it over. i don't fuck with usps though.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Sep 2019 21:25:30 No.1390505 Report

Quoted By:

this wasn't intentional but
>old chinese woman walking with her two sons (like age 5ish) on small bikes
>one son has pegs on his bike
>they're weaving all over the place like those kids do
>already prepared for what's going to happen
>tell the kids I'm passing
>mother is yelling moonrunes, assuming she's saying the same thing
>they're still weaving after 20 seconds of this so I just go for it
>peg kid gets startled and cuts over into his brother's bike, locking the peg in his spokes
>I twin towers'd chinatown
>quickly ride off in shame

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO P1160325.jpg, 178KiB, 1200x755

Anonymous Sat 14 Sep 2019 22:14:40 No.1390518 Report

Quoted By: >>1390654 >>1390657

>>1390490
And that guy manages to have both, on a bike marketed for its road racing performance.

People with the flexibility of a middle aged construction worker should maybe think about buying something that better suits their capabilities. If you want to show off how much money you spent there are other ways.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Sep 2019 22:21:04 No.1390519 Report

Quoted By: >>1390957

>>1390369
I only bully cagers and sometimes freds.
>UPS truck block bike lane and half street
>car goes nut to butt with UPS truck trying to pinch me off for whatever assholish reason
>I slip through tite gapz
>car finally gets through UPS traffic block then slows down next to me
>honks then gives me the finger and speeds off
>RED LIGHT
>catch up
>cut in front of rage cage taking the whole and only lane
>S L O W
>D O W N
>rager starts losing his mind
>HONK
>BEEP
>trying to cut around me
>keep blocking his path
>red light and visible grid lock incoming
>give him the finger
>sprint to 50km/h+
>filter through tite gapz
>he's stuck in gridlock and raging for no reason

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 15 Sep 2019 05:07:23 No.1390654 Report

Quoted By:

>>1390518
>And that guy manages to have both, on a bike marketed for its road racing performance.
>People with the flexibility of a middle aged construction worker

That's Bautista, he's 6'6 and the former WWF wresting champ. I'm pretty sure he can get over on a road bike.

That being said he needs one size larger. He'd be best off with a 2xl canyon ultimate or that giant 64cm Factor they make. Then he wouldn't need spacers at all.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 15 Sep 2019 05:14:34 No.1390657 Report

Quoted By:

>>1390518
is that just a steerer that has yet to be cut with the spacers on top colored the same as the bike or does that steerer have a half chub

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 15 Sep 2019 09:58:04 No.1390725 Report

Quoted By: >>1390729 >>1390730 >>1390734 >>1390746

>>1390369
I don't bully, but I respond to aggression with 5x the aggression.

>cycling through a park which cyclists commute through regularly
>it's 1pm on a Thursday, so all the jobless alcoholics are walking their dogs
>on a straight outdoor corridor between rows of rose bushes, Victorian public garden, the corridor is about 20ft wide
>some middle aged long-haired guy is walking his dog off the leash
>it's unpredictable, so I watch it and cover my brakes
>it walks off into the rose bushes, but it's owner walks out of his own way, leans over and puts his arm across my path, and yells "slow down!"
>I can tell he's not brave enough to actually get in the way
>I speed up straight into his arm, hit it so hard with my headtube that the impact echoes in the frame
>he cries in pain and I just continue on
I fucking hate Scotland so much. A solid 5% of the population is that exact guy.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 15 Sep 2019 10:54:56 No.1390729 Report

Quoted By: >>1391221

>>1390725
Purple Cinelli?
Victoria Park?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 15 Sep 2019 10:59:03 No.1390730 Report

Quoted By:

>>1390725
>leans over and puts his arm across my path
>I speed up straight into his arm
Just from the description I would hava imagined that a good way of getting an arm in your face.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 15 Sep 2019 11:45:24 No.1390734 Report

Quoted By: >>1390745 >>1390746 >>1390845 >>1391249 >>1391371 >>1391459

>>1390725
I'm not proud of it but I was out on a sunday morning ride and there's this soulless mega church where they put down cones blocking the bike lane at an already marked crosswalk. Then when I was enjoying going by at speed he had the balls to yell for me to slow down. I screeched to a halt, dismounted, asked if he was a cop. replied no. at that point I stepped on his foot and pushed him in the chest causing him to fall into the grass devil's strip.

so yeah I assaulted a deacon on sunday mornings.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 15 Sep 2019 12:16:32 No.1390745 Report

Quoted By: >>1390845

>>1390734
Good

I'm not religious but the only legitimate churches have unbroken lines of apostolic succession

Anyone who falls for non-denominational mega churches is going to burn in hell for eternity

Also he fucked with a bike lane so he deserves to get pushed

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 15 Sep 2019 12:22:35 No.1390746 Report

Quoted By: >>1390843 >>1391221

>>1390734
>>1390725
>bike path racers
How embarrassing

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 15 Sep 2019 17:43:49 No.1390843 Report

Quoted By: >>1390867

>>1390746
it's the US, it isn't a path, merely a three foot area left of the curb with a white line so they cars know where to kill you. I take the whole car lane anyway, 25mph zone.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 15 Sep 2019 17:47:21 No.1390845 Report

Quoted By:

>>1390745
>>1390734
We also fight the churches here because they block the bike lanes with their go-ers cars and I don't fucking think it should be excused.
It really isn't even on the books, but it's a known exception.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 20140531__drivingchangesp4-e1560 (...).jpg, 35KiB, 338x423

Anonymous Sun 15 Sep 2019 18:24:53 No.1390867 Report

Quoted By: >>1390882

>>1390843
The US does have bike paths though.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1550622719004s.jpg, 6KiB, 166x250

Anonymous Sun 15 Sep 2019 18:57:30 No.1390882 Report

Quoted By:

>>1390867
god i wish we did

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 15 Sep 2019 19:28:45 No.1390895 Report

Quoted By:

Mostly bully crackheads who ride against traffic, I will literally play chicken with em to the point where they hop into the sidewalk.

Fuck crackheads.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 15 Sep 2019 21:43:07 No.1390957 Report

Quoted By: >>1390959 >>1391140 >>1391287 >>1391321

>>1390369
>>1390519
What's a Fred?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 15 Sep 2019 21:46:43 No.1390959 Report

Quoted By:

>>1390957
Any type of cyclist you don't like.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 16 Sep 2019 04:59:28 No.1391140 Report

Quoted By:

>>1390957
Someone who rides without using/attaching their brakes to look cool, they have to slam their feet into the ground like Fred Flintstone so that’s how they got the name

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 16 Sep 2019 11:13:45 No.1391221 Report

Quoted By:

>>1390729
Nope, must have been someone else. Though it wouldn't surprise me at all to hear you've personally witnessed an identical incident.

>>1390746
I wasn't even going fast to begin with. You don't understand, this species of retard is a purebred council creature. There are thousands of these breedlings wandering aimlessly around, you can tell them a mile off.

If you stop, they will grab your fucking handlebars and start spluttering diseased spray in your face. The only thing they understand is violence.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 16 Sep 2019 12:18:53 No.1391238 Report

Quoted By: >>1391249

I did Critical Mass rides in Manhattan in the early 2000s and felt all self righteous about blocking cars while they honked and seethed. I was never that aggro about it as the cops would bust people depending on their mood and I didn’t want to lose my bike or go to jail.
In the end we were a minuscule fraction of Manhattan traffic and just added to the freak show spectacle of the city. Kids and most pedestrians loved it. The best was a Halloween ride through Times Square where I attached some giant plastic reindeer to my bike, a beach cruiser I got for $5 at a yard sale.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 16 Sep 2019 12:57:55 No.1391249 Report

Quoted By:

Main problem here are slacker students which are high and don't look anywhere when crossig the streets.

>bus stop -> bike lane -> sidewalk
>bus passengers need to cross the bike lane to get off the bus
>lmao weed dude gets off the bus standing on the bike lane, not moving or looking
>staring on his phone with two earbuds in
>I rush towards hin
>hit him with my left palm on his shoulder, bumping him off the bike lane
felt good

>>1390734
brutal

>>1391238
I've joined the local CM two times now and it has been great. Cops don't know what to do about it, its hillarious.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 16 Sep 2019 15:08:09 No.1391287 Report

Quoted By: >>1391692

>>1390957
Anyone on a bike more expensive than yours who doesn't ride professionally.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 16 Sep 2019 16:31:13 No.1391321 Report

Quoted By:

>>1390957
A Fred is someone who asks questions like "What's a Fred?"

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 16 Sep 2019 18:23:18 No.1391371 Report

Quoted By:

>>1390734
That's just no OK, deacon or not, entitled asshole or not.

I might passiveagressively roll over the cones with my fatbike though.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 16 Sep 2019 19:30:27 No.1391412 Report

Quoted By:

>>1390369

That's a sensible bike design. Not aero shit everywhere.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 16 Sep 2019 21:41:37 No.1391459 Report

Quoted By:

>>1390734
Based.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 16 Sep 2019 22:30:54 No.1391475 Report

Quoted By: >>1391830

Riding to the trailhead, I had some dude and his asshole friends buzz me and throw beer cans at me from their DRW while they were pulling a boat to the reservoir near where I used to live.

I had a good idea of where they'd be parking and rode to the parking lot for the dock nearby. Fucked around for a bit in the out of eyeshot waiting for them to set off, found the truck, and keyed the fuck out of the driver's side... then continued on to the trailhead like normal.

I had a friend pick me up at another trailhead halfway up the mountain in case they figured out where I was riding.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 17 Sep 2019 11:32:06 No.1391692 Report

Quoted By:

>>1391287
Ergo, everyone.

Got'em

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 17 Sep 2019 19:28:37 No.1391830 Report

Quoted By:

>>1391475
that kind of fear is why i never have the balls to key someone even if they really piss me off.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 18 Sep 2019 16:41:31 No.1392132 Report

Quoted By: >>1392184 >>1392187

>>1390369

>riding local greenway according to the posted and customary rules
>ride/run/walk on the right, overtake on left
>fat bitch jogger slowly hobbling towards me head-on
>at 2m tall and 138kg I don't move for anybody, especially when the other party is in the wrong
>ring spurcycle bell (love this bell, worth the $$$) several times
>fat jogger bitch and I are still hurtling towards one another on a collision course
>realize fat bitch jogger is so hobbit-like that my front rack would make contact with her shoulders
>speed up
>Like Colonel Prescott told his men as redcoats stormed his position, I wasn't going to do anything until I saw the whites of FJB's eyes
>Drawing ever closer, velocity ever rising, I realize FJB is oriental. I think perhaps Colonel Prescott never saw an asian person.
>As FJB and I are perilously close to collision, she steps off to my right as I and my steel rush to fill the void where she was but a short second before.
>She yells a screeching "what the fuck, man?"
>I bark back "keep to the right, dumbass" and keep on
>I almost turned around but it wasn't worth blowing my good strava segment time.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 18 Sep 2019 17:49:54 No.1392184 Report

Quoted By: >>1392592

>>1392132
>run/walk on the right
Aren't you're supposed to walk on the left?

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 18 Sep 2019 17:52:54 No.1392187 Report

Quoted By: >>1392214

>>1392132
>front rack
>138 kg
>strava
man where do you live I want to KOM all over your municipality

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 18 Sep 2019 17:54:54 No.1392188 Report

Quoted By:

this one time i was on a hill waiting for a 4 way stop to be clear enough so i can ride through it.

cut a guy off by centimeters

he turns around and chases me down the road for a couple hundred meters, honking and swearing.

turn right into a trail network and get away

i feel proud of this moment.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 18 Sep 2019 18:58:59 No.1392214 Report

Quoted By: >>1392218

>>1392187
I will absolutely smoke your ass on the flats; hills, not so much.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 18 Sep 2019 19:16:26 No.1392218 Report

Quoted By: >>1392221

>>1392214
I’m not sure why you want to lick my butthole but I doubt you’re as strong as me, unless you defy the laws of nature and maintain that BMI while training >12 hours per week.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO BIKE.jpg, 209KiB, 1080x772

Anonymous Wed 18 Sep 2019 19:26:34 No.1392221 Report

Quoted By: >>1392232

>>1392218
>doubt I'm as strong as you
>cleaned my bodyweight at 175kg in college, still clean my much lower bodyweight.

I'm plenty strong it's the cardiovascular endurance that's the challenge. You'd be surprised at how many miles I get in per week while also /fit/ lifting.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 18 Sep 2019 20:06:33 No.1392232 Report

Quoted By: >>1392466 >>1392472

>>1392221
We are talking about bikes, all that matters is cardiovascular endurance. No one on this board cares about how fat of a girl you can lift up onto your top bunk.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Sep 2019 09:42:13 No.1392466 Report

Quoted By: >>1392472 >>1392478

>>1392232
>I doubt you’re as strong as me

you just did in your last comment, fuck stick

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Sep 2019 10:20:54 No.1392472 Report

Quoted By: >>1392554

>>1392232
>>1392466

Just post FTP so we can laugh

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Sep 2019 10:34:20 No.1392478 Report

Quoted By:

>>1392466
Strong on a bike, go have fun chasing 30 second segments fatty

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Sep 2019 15:38:26 No.1392554 Report

Quoted By: >>1392555

>>1392472
2m fatty here, ~4.3 Watts/kg over 50km the last time I rode my road bike with a power meter.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Sep 2019 15:41:58 No.1392555 Report

Quoted By: >>1392563

>>1392554
No you didn’t. If you post your data and it shows you averaging 600 watts for over an hour I’ll gladly eat my words.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Sep 2019 16:21:29 No.1392563 Report

Quoted By: >>1392565 >>1392635

>>1392555
>Misconstrue strength, then say it means cardio
>Calls any other biker fat, slow, or both
>Nothing is true unless I've seen it myself
>I'm the fastest and the best

Why does anyone even post on the internet when pricks like you are milling about?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Sep 2019 16:23:22 No.1392565 Report

Quoted By:

>>1392563
I’m just here to keep fatties honest

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Sep 2019 17:43:24 No.1392592 Report

Quoted By: >>1392653

>>1392184
fuck off scraggly teeth

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Sep 2019 19:06:16 No.1392635 Report

Quoted By:

>>1392563
>Nothing is true unless I've seen it myself
No anon you misunderstand, I only mildly disbelieve your claim to have an FTP higher than that of any professional cyclist, even during the EPO golden age of Lance et al. One can only expect such a claim to be backed up by some evidence, yeah?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Sep 2019 19:45:28 No.1392653 Report

Quoted By:

>>1392592
I'm not British. You're supposed to ride on the right and walk on the left.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 23 Sep 2019 07:16:20 No.1394264 Report

Quoted By:

>>1390369
A lot of the time I’ll just spit on people as a ride past them, even when I’m riding on a footpath or sidewalk. There’s nothing better than spitting your gum into someone’s hair because they have zero situational awareness of who’s coming and going, and refuse to walk anywhere besides the center of whatever path your on. I’ve dumped water on people as well. Nobody that didn’t deserve it though.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO AnlHcX2.png, 997KiB, 3038x1495

Anonymous Mon 23 Sep 2019 08:51:05 No.1394282 Report

Quoted By: >>1394284 >>1394411

itt. roadbike faggots lying on the internet

every last one of you faggots should buy a mountainbike

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO VirginCommuter.png, 306KiB, 960x472

Anonymous Mon 23 Sep 2019 08:52:43 No.1394284 Report

Quoted By:

>>1394282

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 23 Sep 2019 12:57:57 No.1394358 Report

Quoted By: >>1394360

what the fuck is wrong with you cyclists

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 23 Sep 2019 12:59:14 No.1394360 Report

Quoted By:

>>1394358
This is /n/, home of the sidewalk king.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 23 Sep 2019 14:28:47 No.1394377 Report

Quoted By: >>1394629

>implying you need a bike to bully pedestrians
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dpg4ZOqjDTs

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 23 Sep 2019 15:35:45 No.1394398 Report

Quoted By:

>ride by some little kid under 10 years old
>notice he starts trying super hard to keep up to me
>heh, not today kid
>pedal harder

i'm 30 years old

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 23 Sep 2019 16:30:22 No.1394411 Report

Quoted By:

>>1394282
unironically wtc dura-chad wheelset

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 24 Sep 2019 00:53:47 No.1394629 Report

Quoted By:

>>1394377
エスカレータ男は面白すぎるwwww

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