>>1395648What the fuck did you just say about me, you fat cager? I'll have you know I have the KOM in all my local strava segments and I've been involved in numerous critical mass events on major roadways, and I have over 300 bikes. I am trained in velo racing and am the top puller in my weekend group rides. You are just another fucking MAMIL to me. I will pass you on the left at a speed the likes of which has never been seen before on this segment, hold my fucking wheel if you can. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me at a fucking stoplight? Think again, you unracer salmon chamois stain. As we speak I am contacting my bike collective of messengers and they're on their way to reenact that scene from Premium Rush so you better prepare for the fucking storm, leglet. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your bike. You're a fucking Fred, kid. I can be anywhere, any time, owing to my aero frame and wheelset, and I can drop you in over 700 different ways just in my threshold power. Not only am I extensively conditioned to have a higher VO2 max than you, but I have access to the entire Di2 groupset with ceramicspeed bearings and jockys and I will use it toto its full extent to crush any segments you hold on this hold continent, you boomer shit. If only you could have known the retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking bidon. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're eating my dust. I will drink electrolytes and toss gel packets all over you and you will crash from it.
You're a fucking Fred, kiddo.
