list
1. carbon fiber snapping/crumbling while riding
2. aluminum tubes snapping
3. rim brakes wearing through rim wall, causing catastrophic failure
4. fenders without front and rear rich release tabs getting jammed with debris causing sudden stops and death
5. saddles causing erectile dysfunction and scar tissue on taint
6. tubeless tires exploding off your rims and killing you
7. Hydraulic brakes boiling on downhill that send you off a gigantic cliff and onto jagged rocks
8. lack of steady front and rear lights at all times, modern day bright lights are required
9. No safety flag
10. No helmet very bad, foolish
11. Non-pinned flats that allow foot slippage and horrendous crashes
12. Clipless pedals that trap your feet and cause horrible crashes in embarrassing situations
13. Lack of pie plate throwing your chain between your cassette and spokes, causing instant stop and throwing you from your bicycle
14. Chain falling off ring when an 18 wheeler is headed right for you
15. Synthetic fabrics and butt pads incubating deadly MRSA virus
16. Excessive cardio weakening your heart
17. Wrist and hand injuries due to lack of steel fork, supple tires, and redshift suspension stem
18. Excessive carbohydrate consumption leading to diabetes
19. Shimano hollowtech cranks splitting in half while riding
20. Zero-setbsck seatpost pounding your delicate area and causing permanent nerve damage
21. Inhalation of carcinogenic gas and diesel fumes when riding within two miles of a major road or highway
22. Not using full aero disc wheels so a squirrel or bird runs between your spokes, throwing you from the bicycle
23. Rack and pannier failure locking your wheel and causing a deadly crash in Backcountry third world desert
24. Getting lost and riding bike through occult portal to a different plane
25. A wasp flying into your mouth while you are inhaling so it goes into your lungs and you suffocate from the stings
26. Not riding schwalbe Marathon tires and having tires explode bc pebble