700x28 is the patrician tier option for 98% of real-world cycling. I say "real world" to distinguish it from the fantasy world some dream of, where you're riding over boulders to escape from zombies or whatever. The bike equivalent of civilians buying a heavily armored off road military truck to drive to the hair salon. They think to themselves, "instead of steering around that object like a normal person, I will show dominance by steering into it". In this way, they hope to resemble Arnold Schwarzenegger's character from an action film, or worse yet perhaps they are simply copying the actor's real life fashion. But rather than fashion, in real life bikes are for transportation and 98% of transportation happens on a road hence ROAD BIKES which a certain confused subculture seems to think can only be used in a velodrome under tightly controlled conditions.

There is nothing wrong with a smaller tire if that is your preference. Many of the finest bikes ever made came with 700x23 or smaller. But people who select larger tires invariably have small dick syndrome. I think you know who I mean. You've seen them in your neighborhood. You see them when you override your own common sense and decide to go out for a ride on a nice Sunday with perfect weather when the plebs who hate cycling until that one day the weather is nice and suddenly they're a cyclist today are out in full force.. You even see it online. Those pictures of Putin riding his knobby boing-boing dual suspension novelty joke bike on the sidewalk with no shirt on like the neighborhood dirtbag riding to the liquor store, right? Weak, insecure "strong man" logic. Ever notice John Kerry doing that? No of course not he's got a real bike for adults. Because I guarantee you Kerry has a bigger, thicker penis even at his advanced age. I rest my case.

Anyway this is a true incontrovertible facts thread. What are some other interesting facts about transportation?