I won a tandum pedal boat racing tournament when I was like 12. It was so goddamn slow that it took up my entire weekend, like two eight hour days of slow cruising around some lake with a bunch of boomers. After winning I realized how lame the trophy and the rest of the 1st place prize was that I was actually embarrassed. Fuck pedal boats, nobody wants to waste their time with that and a kid that age doesn't want dynomometer software on 3.5" floppy and a gym bag you fucks.
