WHERE IS YOUR GOD DAMN HELMET? WHERE IS YOUR GOD DAMN KIT? YOU LOOK LIKE A PUUSSY ON THAT BIKE WITH YOUR WIDE ASS SADDLE YOU FAT FUCK. IS THAT FUCKING STEEL? FUCKING STEEL? YOU SLOW ASS LITTLE PUSSY BITCH. I JUST DID 30 MILES AND I'LL STILL BEAT YOUR ASS ON A SPRINT YOU LITTLE PUSS-PUSS. THIS IS A MEN'S SPORT. THIS IS A SPORT. IT REQUIRES EXTREME SKILL AND DETERMINATION. YOU GOTTA HARDEN THE FUCK UP SON. THIS IS NOT A FUCKING SUNDAY STROLL. THIS IS A FUCKING SPORT. A SPORT OF KINGS. WE ARE ATHLETES. DO YOU UNDERSTAND? NOW CARBON THE FUCK UP YOU LITTLE BITCH. CARB UP, CARBON UP, HTF UP. YOUR STEEL ASS SLOW-MOBILE DOESN'T BELONG WITHIN EYESIGHT OF THIS HERE FUCKING MUP. DO YOU HEAR ME? IF I CATCH YOU OUT HERE I WILL SNEER AT YOU. I WILL FUCKING DO IT. SO DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT GETTING NEAR THIS GOD DAMN MUP. ME AND MY CREW ARE OUT HERE EVERY DAY BITCH. WE RIDE FUCKING HARD. GET OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY WITH THAT GOD DAMN BASKET BIKE FAT ASS SADDLE STEEL PIECE OF SHIT. JESUS CHRIST IT'S EVEN UGLIER UP CLOSE. YOU DISGUST ME. IS YOUR PROSTATE EVEN INFLAMED RIGHT NOW? HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT TO BET TAKEN SERIOUSLY? YOU'RE A FUCKING JOKE. YOU'RE MAKING US ALL LOOK BAD. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER YOU LITTLE SHIT. BUY MY USED BIKE. IT'S ONLY 11 SPEED IN THE REAR I DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKING USE FOR IT BUT YOUR LITTLE PEA BRAIN WOULD PROBABLY NOT EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW TO INDEX SHIFT LIKE A PRO. YOU EVER SEEN A DISC BRAKE? IT STOPS ON A DIME. A DIME! IT'S BETTER. I DON'T FUCK AROUND. I HAVE THE LATEST GEAR BECAUSE I'M SO STRONG AND FAST, IT WOULD BE A WASTE OF MY TALENT TO LOSE 2 WATTS. DO YOU GET THAT? I AM PURE. I AM CLEAN. I FIT IN. I HAVE THE GOOD STUFF. YOU HAVE THE BAD STUFF. YOU ARE SLOW, I AM FAST. THIS IS A SPORT. NOT TRANSPORTATION. TRANSPORTATION IS FOR WOMEN. MEN DRIVE CARS. CYCLING IS A SPORT. GO HOME AND HARDEN THE FUCK UP. I MEAN IT. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT YOU UNRACED PIECE OF SHIT, I'VE GOT A STRAVA SEGMENT TO CRUSH AND I DON'T WHAT YOU BREATHING IN ALL MY AIR