Actual serious answer...
He doesn't. He lives in Ruckersville, VA. The only people there who ride bikes are black people and yuppies, which Chris never was. His dad was an aging mechanical engineer and his mom fat and overbearing so owning a bike was out of the question due to the lack of motorcycle but still too dangerous for someone of the female gender. Like most suburban people his mom drove him everywhere until he completed driver's ed and got a driver's license at 16. Then he drove his mom's car (some sort of escort wagon I think) which he still does. I don't think chris has ever been on an on a train, which is average for Virginia. He did take a yellow school bus to school and knows how to ride the local city bus, but has never ridden Greyhound. I'm pretty certain he (like most people in the area) takes a charter bus or supershuttle to Dulles for flights to cons, which he can do as he has a Real ID and is residing in the US legally (non-rich mexicans don't fly for this reason).
pic rel is average for the area and is what Bob was. People there drive as soon as they can touch a clutch and drill out a carbuerator's emissions screw
