Do you ever buy shit you know isn't going to fit and just hope that the pain will go away?

I have a butt ugly fat tubed carbon road bike with a sloping top tube, hydraulic disc brakes and those retarded looking dropped seatstays, a stumpy little stem up on top of a tall headtube. It's the ugliest bike I've ever been on, it was professionally fitted and cost a lot of money. I love the way it rides, it's comfy as fuck and it handles like an extension of my mind, but I HATE HATE HATE the way it looks.

Thinking about building a skinny tubed steel road bike with rim brakes, a tiny headtube, a horizontal top tube, and a long ass slammed stem. Basically an expensive version of the bikes I grew up on. The way bikes were meant to look. I know from my measurements and the geometry it won't work for me and I know the tires will need to run about 120 PSI and be pure torture and it will barely stop because of the antiquated brakes, but I still want it. I know what frame I'm gonna get. The total cost to build will be more than I thought but I think it's worth it. Riding it will be pure suffering but it's worth it right?