>>1736050Short answer: WE GAAN sounds funny as fuck
Long answer: Jacob “My voice makes the tower fear me and cower” van Zanten was the biggest Chad in aviation. He had the right of way at every airport. ATC dared not question his judgment lest they feel his almighty wrath. Other pilots didn’t need clearance from the tower, they needed clearance from the superstar of KLM himself. On every flight, half the women would leave his plane carrying his children without even being penetrated, for he was so handsome that women got pregnant looking at his smile in the in-flight magazine. He would fly on autopilot while stewardesses bounced on his dick.
And one fateful day, in 1977, some fucking CUNT from Pan Am decided to park his fatass 747 in front of him and prevented van Zanten from taking off once his destination airport reopened. Apparently, van Zanten’s power had not reached across the Atlantic and the Americans were busy riding that Cold War and post-WWII high to give a shit.
van Zanten had finally had enough of motherfuckers from Pan Am ruining his day. He was going out with a firey bang. Using his telekinetic powers, he blanketed Los Rodeos in a shroud of thick fog as he positioned his beautiful KLM jet at the end of the runway. He listened to the radio for the whereabouts of the Pan Am. As soon as he knew that they were on the runway and still taxiing, he shouted the iconic words “WE GAAAAAAAAAAAN” and applied full thrust.
van Zanten’s crew feebly questioned whether Pan Am was still on the runway. He said “shut the fuck up and sit down, we are fucking gaan.” Barreling down the runway at 666 knots per hour, van Zanten saw the Pan Am’s lights and smiled wickedly. “WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS OBSTRUCTING MY TAXIWAY WITH THE SUPERSTAR OF KLM WHO RUNS THIS SHIT? I’LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU GET YOU PAN AM FUCKING SHITS! WE GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!”
He took 582 lives with him.
KLM wanted him to investigate the whole thing, too.
