I take BART every day. I spend pretty much all day wanting to kill myself because of how miserable I am. Almost every day when I'm on the platform when a train pulls in I fantasize about jumping in front, but I'm terrified thinking about when to jump, where to aim, etc., because I know that I would fuck it up and end up getting dragged under the train or along the rails while still alive and suffer unbearable pain before dying or better yet just become horrifically crippled but remain alive.
I remember a few years back someone jumped in front of a train either on Christmas Eve or New Year's Eve a few minutes after I passed the station they jumped at, so luckily I avoided the massive delay. But all I could think is how ballsy the person was for doing it, and how jealous I was of them.
