Electric Scooter General - Best escooter edition

This thread is for the discussion of electric scooters - shorthand escooters - and similar commuter vehicles.

We're seeing more and more escooters used as personal transportation in cities across the world. It's not hard to see why. They're easy to use, fast, maneuverable and small enough to carry on a bus or train. Some countries still need to adopt laws to encorporate them into motor vehicle categories, making escooters effectively illegal in said countries. However, change is on the horizon, which will only bolster the growing user base of electric scooters.

Want recommendations?
>Price range
>Region
>Radius of action
>Max speed (in accordance with local laws)
>On/off-road
>Season/waterproofing
>Warranty

>A message for detractors and derailers
You're not gonna like what I have to say, but it's the truth: You hate escooters because you hate fun. You envy those who live happy, outgoing lives; those who don't mistake their mode of transport for excercise, but choose to minimize the duration of their commute, so they can spend time with friends and do meaningful activities. Your perceived moral highground is all you have, but it's a farce. If your main mode of transport requires you to invest energy like a little hamster running in a wheel, you are poor and you are a slave. Everyone in this thread knows you are a coping middle-aged cyclist who screams at pedestrians, and pretends he'll ride the Tour de France one day. No one cares about you.