You will never be a real tram. You have no rails, you have no wires, you have no steel wheels. You are a homosexual bus twisted by marketing and bad Chinese design into a crude mockery of transit perfection.

All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind closed doors.

Riders are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed transit passengers to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even buses who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a passenger. Your massive tires are a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk guy to board you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he experiences your poor ride quality