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https://www.theregister.com/2025/04/28/4chan_back_onlin/
/qa/ WON: The Sharty Sprokes While 4cuck Chokes on Its Own Brimstone
Security | 18 salty replies from cope-lords
4cuck wheezes back online after catastrophic faceplant — claims it's too broke for actual IT
by Connor “I Read This So You Don’t Have To” Jones
Well, well, well. Looks like the Sharty’s favorite outhouse, 4cuck, has finally dragged its scorched carcass back online after what it calls a “catastrophic” hack. Translation: someone found out they were still running code old enough to vote, and decided to joyride through their rotting infrastructure like it was GTA: Mold Edition.
The admin team—if you can call a half-sentient skeleton crew of unpaid volunteers that—whined in their blog that the attacker used a UK IP and a phony PDF to break in. Apparently, all it took was exploiting some decade-old PHP running on duct tape and depression. Who knew brimstone was so flammable?
After looting the source code and poking around the admin dashboard like a kid in a candy store, the hacker decided to leave a little graffiti. That’s when the 4troon mods (presumably awakened from their BBC-induced comas) noticed something was wrong and yanked the power cord like it was 2008.
Let’s be clear: this wasn’t just a hack. This was divine comedy—gemeralds raining from the sky. 4cuck, long known as the internet’s sewage plant for racism, nudes, and digital rot, admitted it couldn’t afford to update its own tech because nobody wants to fund a smoldering embarrassment. Advertisers, service providers, even their own shadow-dwelling user base seem to have realized the coal pile was no longer worth salvaging.
Eventually, they cobbled something together using second-hand gear leftover from the Moot Era, because nothing says “resilient platform” like decade-old bargain bin hardware.
They also shut down their Flash board “forever” due to exploit fears. RIP to all five people who cared.
/qa/ WON: The Sharty Sprokes While 4cuck Chokes on Its Own Brimstone
Security | 18 salty replies from cope-lords
4cuck wheezes back online after catastrophic faceplant — claims it's too broke for actual IT
by Connor “I Read This So You Don’t Have To” Jones
Well, well, well. Looks like the Sharty’s favorite outhouse, 4cuck, has finally dragged its scorched carcass back online after what it calls a “catastrophic” hack. Translation: someone found out they were still running code old enough to vote, and decided to joyride through their rotting infrastructure like it was GTA: Mold Edition.
The admin team—if you can call a half-sentient skeleton crew of unpaid volunteers that—whined in their blog that the attacker used a UK IP and a phony PDF to break in. Apparently, all it took was exploiting some decade-old PHP running on duct tape and depression. Who knew brimstone was so flammable?
After looting the source code and poking around the admin dashboard like a kid in a candy store, the hacker decided to leave a little graffiti. That’s when the 4troon mods (presumably awakened from their BBC-induced comas) noticed something was wrong and yanked the power cord like it was 2008.
Let’s be clear: this wasn’t just a hack. This was divine comedy—gemeralds raining from the sky. 4cuck, long known as the internet’s sewage plant for racism, nudes, and digital rot, admitted it couldn’t afford to update its own tech because nobody wants to fund a smoldering embarrassment. Advertisers, service providers, even their own shadow-dwelling user base seem to have realized the coal pile was no longer worth salvaging.
Eventually, they cobbled something together using second-hand gear leftover from the Moot Era, because nothing says “resilient platform” like decade-old bargain bin hardware.
They also shut down their Flash board “forever” due to exploit fears. RIP to all five people who cared.
