After watching a recent episode of South Park where he is in bed with Satan, Trump is worried about whether or not he is going to go to heaven.
President Trump dialed into “Fox & Friends” on Tuesday morning and revealed his newest and truest motivation for brokering an end to the war in Ukraine: He’s worried he might not get into heaven after he dies.
“I want to try and get to heaven, if possible,” he explained. “I’m hearing I’m not doing well. I am really at the bottom of the totem pole. But if I can get to heaven, this will be one of the reasons.”
https://www.nytimes.com/2025/08/19/us/politics/trump-heaven.html
Epstein posts from hell
C'mon guy, it ain't so bad down here. The sucubi, who look like 90-year-old women, dress up in schoolgirl outfits and if you squint real hard, they can pass. Satan gives us raging hard ons 24/7(there really is no time down here) and so we have to stick it somewhere. Your anus isn't exactly appealing to me so sticking it in a bag of varicose veins with a roast beef sandwich has to do
Anonymous
OpEds are not allowed on news.
Fred tRump posts from hell
>>1428127 Jeffrey Epstein isn't down here, you fake. Epstein did nothing wrong, as our Lord God wants us to be fruitful and multiply and have sex with fertile young women. It's greed and treating others (and yourself) badly that ends you up down here. Every POTUS is down here, even Jimmy Carter. Carter is relegated to one of the other circles of hell. My son will be in one of the inner circles where it's very cold
give me your lunch money, freak
Anonymous
>NY times >Opinion piece about a South Park episode
Anonymous
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A good soul doesn’t have to worry about heaven or hell. Trump is worried because he knows he does not have one.
Anonymous
>>1428135 Report it and move on
Anonymous
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>>1428135 If it was an opinion piece it would have the word 'opinion' in the URL
>>1428149 good luck getting banned for false reporting
Anonymous
Maybe he should crack open a bible. You don't get into heaven by your works but by faith alone. I don't think he's got either.
Anonymous
If God existed, Trump wouldn't be president.
ePISStemological philosopher
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>>1428153 >If God existed, Trump wouldn't be president. at least we know Satan exists
>>1428129 epistemologically speaking, when we die,whatever happens to us,happens to us all. apart from some extremely bad luck,we create our own heavens and Hells here on Earth
>>1428135 >Yawn I'm sorry for taking your lunch $ in HS.
Anonymous
>>1428125 I can see it now, Trump teargassing the Heavenly Gates so that he can have a photo taken of him entering it, knocking down down the Holy City to build golf courses everywhere, getting jealous of God and insisting the Heavenly Choir only sing about him, grabbing the Cherabim by the pussy, etc.
Anonymous
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This is not news.
Anonymous
Anonymous
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>>1428125 He better get used to the smell of sulphur.
Anonymous
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>>1436041 >schizo end times youtube mirror site Yawn. Show me the passage that says you must earn your way into heaven through deeds, not some huckster selling bullshit to morons
Anonymous
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He shouldn't be worried about going to Heaven. He declined the invite when it presented.
Anonymous
>>1428538 It would be reminiscent to Diablo 3.
Anonymous
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>>1436382 Except instead of a cool looking demon it would look like an orange, flabby Zoidberg without his shell but somehow more pathetic.
