>>2727988>be me >I wear poison ivy like a necklace >metaphorically speaking because I'm not a hippy dippy shithead>far off trail >see a plant about 20 ft up a vertical face>the wall is made of sandstone and covered in moss>I am breeder of exotic plants and freelance wildlife conservationist of local endemic plants, therefore I must ascend the vertical wall>no experience wall climbing >don't care>begin free soloing the wall>California just had heavy rainfall>ever walked on wet moss and lichen? you don't know slippery until you have>This vertical face is not only covered in bryophytes and lichen, but also smattered with a diminutive species of stinging nettle>every hand placement is pain>in shorts and short sleeve shirt>the nettle rubbing against my body is like a natural form of torture >there is no zone on this wall that is NOT covered in nettle>every clutch is a grasp at nettle>the sandstone crumbles beneath me with every action compromising every motion>every movement is one step forward and two steps back>the nettle is tingling my body like electricity at this point >every hand placement is FUCKING AGONY >I slowly and carefully ascend higher and higher until my chosen path of sandstone totally collapses and I fall but thankfully land safely>I fail and suffer the electric feeling coursing through my body>I sit, breathe, and calm the fuck down>resolve to attempt a different path up>to combat the wall crumbling under me constantly dragging me back down I decide to make small vertical leaps grabbing stones that sometimes fall under me but sometimes hold my weight long enough to get higher and higher>the stinging nettle brutalizes me but finally I ascend the wall>the plant is growing in a covey hole that allows rain to wash through and gives me a moment of respite at a steep angle>at the top now reeling in pseudo-paralysis from the nettle>admire and snap a photo before making my way back downpic fucking related it is a blue coffee fern
