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>not drinking enough water and dehydrating constantly
>dehydration causes salt buildup in sweat zones
>most excruciating chafe pain in my groin and armpits every time I finish a week long trek because I'm always too lazy to go to the nearest water source at the end of the day and clean myself off
>pungent smell of ham and vinegar as well
thankfully I have made it an iron rule to wash myself regularly throughout the day and stopped being a lazy cunt
>descending bog mountain in dense fog
>no idea where trail is, everywhere is waterlogged and looks the same
>slip n slide my way to the base yelling nigger every time I fall
>on french swiss border
>didn't know they repopulated it with wolves
>extremely liberal with how I carry my food because yuropean
>bag smells delicious, clothes smell delicious, go to bed every night smelling like a sumptuous meal
>wolves harass me for 2 nights, one sneaks right up to my tent door and stares me in the face, scared the shit outa me
>spend both nights sleepless mentally preparing myself to do a The Grey tier last stand with my opinel no 8
>find shitting outdoors extremely tedious in the beginning
>brilliant idea: don't shit
>hike exclusively with and eat exclusively food I think will temporarily constipate me for the whole trip (usually 7-10 days) like pasta, dried bananas, blocks of cheese
>go whole way multiple times without shitting, get back home and release a massive anus rending log of shit
>burning holes in my tarp by taking a burning stick from my fire and trying to smoke out midget flies
>buying multiple days of tinned food without openers and having to blunt my knife
>not fucking that hiker girl
