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>be me in Yuma desert
>having fun
>holy fuck it's getting hot as shit glad it's the day we're leaving
>get ready to pack up and leave
>wait where's the keys
>fumble through pockets like a retard
>spend an hour or so puttering around in the sand like a fucking moron trying to find my keys
>no luck
>friends already left in seperate cars
>last one behind
>no signal in the fucking desert
>it's getting hotter and hotter
>water is running out
>fuck it
>have to jam screwdriver into iginition in my beater truck
>don't shut truck off until I finish the 2 hour drive
>friends ask why there's a screwdriver in my ignition at the denny's we agreed to meet at
>tell them a fucking squirrel probably took it
>never live it down
>"Hey anon look a squirrel, you think it has your keys?"
>"He's probably setting up a used car dealership as we speak, what with all those keys he probably has"
>Had to get spares made for all my cars and housekeys
>That fucking squirrel cost me like $200 to make a spare for my key fobs
>Friends think I'm fucking around when I told them the next hunting trip was for squirrels
I killed like 15 of them in the forest behind my property that night out of shear spite. Didn't even eat them. Fucking rats.
Always keep your keys on a caribiner attached to you.
