Quoted By:
>be a year ago
>friend and I are on the last day of a camping trip on a mountain
>find flat spot, celebrate, make camp
>have snack
>there was a fire pit on a not-so-flat spot a ways back, so we decide dinner would be good there
>go there to eat dinner, it's light out
>return to camp in twilight
>my friend, let's call him Jeff, is talking about potential next camping trip
>"Jeff, STOP."
>"wut?" but stops
>point forward to tree with big lump under it
>"BEAR."
>we both freeze but evidently the fucker heard me call him out on his shit
>makes a "MUUUH" sound as it crashes through the brush to escape, has something with it
>we both stand paralyzed as it sinks in, what we just encountered
>exchange looks, wait for sounds to disappear
>"FUCK" in unison
>run over to campsite, it's absolutely destroyed
>tent ripped open, tent poles snapped
>tinder pile scattered
>at least the food bag is safe in the tree
>...
>the packs are fucking missing
>"Jeff, the bags aren't here."
>"No."
>"What? They're not."
>"NO. The car keys were in my backpack. FUUUUUUUUUCK!"
>I shit brix
>He shits brix
>We pull out my dinky little handcrank flashlight/radio
>crank that shit, it's dark now
>Jeff starts gathering the scattered bits of what was in his backpack
>We find my backpack quick, about 20 yards from the campsite. It's pitch fucking black out now.
>Following the trail of destruction we eventually find his pack
>steel frame ripped open, clothes/equipment everywhere, also ripped
>in the middle of it all an empty thing of deodorant, covered in slobber
>we exchange looks
>ransack the pile for his car keys
>put everything we can into a tarp, we look like Syrian refugees
>gtfo middle of the night
>it was a 5 mile hike out
Fucking douchebear.
One of my other friends reacts every time I say "douchebear" with
>"it's not the bear's fault, stop calling him that"
I'm honestly unsure of what to think of the situation. Technically it was Jeff's fault the bear took his pack, buuuuut...
