Quoted By:
>be the only /k/ in my group of friends
>buddy calls me up one afternoon and complains that some kind of animal has infiltrated his attic
>I always keep a 10/22 in my trunk so I hop in the car and head over
>him and his girl are scared shitless, they think it's a fox or something
>I get up there, lo and behold it's a coon
>after telling them what it is they try to convince me of a non-lethal way
>he goes and gets an airsoft pistol and asks me to use it
>ok.jpg
>take a few shots, the raccoon is undisturbed
>it starts scurrying it's way over towards me, hops on the ladder and claws at my hand
>the girlfriend freaks out and runs to her bedroom, my friend backs off and starts calling animal control
>I go out to my car, retrieve my rifle, and by the time I come back in everything has settled; animal control will be here in 30 minutes
>the girlfriend has returned after some comforting
>decide fuck it, that little bastard got my fingers good so he deserves what's coming
>put a round in him, he dies pretty quick, no struggle or anything that would upset the two observers
>just when I was going in to retrieve the carcass I hear some more noises
>another raccoon
>it's leering at me from behind a box
>it knows what I have done
>it charges, I hit it right in the head
>it stumbles down the ladder
>it's eye pops out of it's socket
>blood and brains go everywhere
later
>driving home
>someone cuts me off
>I pull up next to him, my face and shirt covered in blood and brains
>I just look at him for a good hard minute until the light changes
>mfw
