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Alright /out/ I'm in desperate need of assistance in identifying these invaders that are all over the fucking place this year in hopes of finding a way to kill them without purging everything else in the garden.
By the time they sprout, the bark is already fully formed and they seem to only be growing in the areas with spread, ignoring the grass and mulched sections entirely.
I'm a grown ass man and this one in the picture is the first one I've been able to pull out all summer, the anchor is pointing at the ground level, the root being around 1ft long.