>>276591TX cyclist here. While I appreciate your masculine hatred of an elegant machine, none of what you said is exactly "true."
I ride on the shoulder and sidewalk when I can. I get that right of way is is often "right of weight" and the bicycle loses every time. So I stay outta the street as best I can.
But I can assure you that I'm not "required by law" to stay out of the actual traffic lane in Texas, assuming I'm not on a State or Interstate Highway.
On roads under 35 miles an hour (most city streets) bicycles are treated as a vehicle. We are required to signal and stop in the same places that a car is, which I actually do. We aren't allowed to speed (quite possible going downhill). Failure to adhere to the rules of the road will get you ticketed, just like in a car.
In say, downtown Austin, cyclists are required to use the street and not the sidewalk... sort of the opposite of what you claim.
Also, a friendly reminder from your past self:
