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How to overcome the feeling of confusion and shame from knowing that everyone around knows you're not tidy down there, there's no bide or shower so obviously everything is messy on your bottom, and hands too, because you can't wash them properly outdoors, and bits of... that stuff are on your fingers. I might have a ptsd from that, once I was hiking on a lovely trail, everything was cool, then I met two girls, they had a beautiful golden retriever, he ran to me joyfully and I kinda pet him, then girls came closer an we chatted a bit, I said what's his name, ''Charlie'' they said, we talked for a while and then Charlie literally put his nose in my... delta area, I got extremely confused, red faced, one girl pulled him back, and there was this super awkward silence for a moment, I felt like the ground turned into abyss beneath my feet, i knew they knew I'm untidy. Then they sad they have to go.. Since then I try to keep myself as clean as I can, but still every time I meet someone on a trail I feel they're judging me for being untidy, stinky, I can even say it by the way they look at me, kinda disgusted, so I try to avoid ppl by all means, if I hear some voices ahead I turn from the path, stand behind a tree or sit in the bushes, till they go by, then when it's silent again I slowly return on the path and continue my way.
