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>camping with friend in national forest
>at least a mile away from other campers
>friend is crying about having to shit
>being a bitch he can't shit in the woods
>give him the keys to my truck and tell him to be back in an hour or else
>already kind of dark, and now I have to shit too
>squat over hole and unload
>realize how much time I have
>stand up and put hand on tree
>beat my dick furiously
>for a solid 3 minutes
>knees become shaky, body is weak
>blow the third biggest nut to this day on the side of that beautiful tree
>never felt so connected to nature
>rest leaning on tree until body works again
>lie down beside fire until friend gets back
If you don't beat your meat with nature, you're a domesticated bitch
