>>1985128And then I was back in my body. I was walking behind my Bro, my hand clenched on the shoulder of his shirt, and I could feel Mate’s on mine, like kids trying not to get lost in the dark. We were walking through the scrub one behind the other in darkness, surrounded still by fantails and the sound of crashing in the scrub all around us. My head was bent, and I had the very strong impulse in my head that I must not look at the faces of whatever was in the scrub.
That moment flashed to the next and were no longer on the summit, but on the lower slope of Pohaturoa, descending just as we had before with hands on shoulders, in the same dream-haze. Only now the night was quiet, and though the pines made the darkness near absolute my Bro walked on like he knew exactly where to go, and I could still feel the fantails perched on me, though they were now quiet. Around this time, awareness seemed to be returning a bit to us.
>Bro mutters: Nearly out...
>I mutter something to Mate, but hear nothing
>I reach my free hand across my body to tap Mate’s hand, only to freeze when I touch it
>my fingers met with something that feels smooth and bony
>I went to turn around when that impluse that I felt not to look before came back over me, only now it was soothing, as if explaining to a frightened child
>one of the bony fingers at my shoulder unfurls and strokes my still frozen hand, and I became calm
>a voice seemed to say in that movement ‘don’t worry, your friend is safe, he is just here behind me’
And the next thing I recall it was morning, and all three of us stood in a row facing away from the tree-line next to Bro’s car, with all our gear stacked neatly beside it. This is the first ‘real feeling’ memory I have where it actually feels like I was in full command of myself.
