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Since I always eat a huge meal before I go out on my first day I will always be compelled to take a monster dump, here is my ritual.
I take a condom and fill it part way with water, pinch it off then walk to a nearby tree. Holding the condom with water gently in my teeth, i rip down my pants to my ankles and get into this position (see image).
After about 5 minutes of solid squeezing wheezing and grunting, I flip over to one side and stand up. At this moment I place and hold sealed the condom half filled with water over my exposed rectum and begin to hop around the forest - pants around ankles, one hand cupped around my balls, one around my anus as the water from the condom gently douches and massages away my poopy bottom.
After another 5mins the condom is now filled with a mysterious murky brown fluid with some solid particulates, I air dry my moist pink booty chutey, tie the condom off and throw it at a squirrel or bird and go along my merry way.
It is important to remember that you own nature and she is your bitch. My poop ritual helps me display my dominance and I never have to lower myself to pleb leaf wipe status.