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Red and black is a friend of Jack. Red and yellow killed a fellow.
They fucking taught that to me, as someone growing up in Scouts, in the Mojave Desert. No one ever mentioned "by the way? California Kings are black and white."
So there I was, free-climbing up a cliff about two-hundred feet tall, at seventeen. I finally get to the top, reach up and pull, and there's a giant-fucking-snake, coiled up and staring at me, and I had no idea what it was. I can climb two hundred foot cliffs with nothing but "eh, it looks ok." But I see a snake or spider? I freak out. I almost let go and dropped, because no one had ever bothered to teach me that this snake isn't poisonous.
God damnit. Could I be more bitter at scouts? No. By the way? Snakes are dicks and they hate you. Not venomous? Sure man--you won't die. But it hurts like shit when they bite you, and THEY BITE YOU.
