>>1777614McCandless for sure.
Treadwell only succumbed because he had a fishy girl in his tent that attracted a pair of monstrously big brown bears looking for a salmon buffet. Had he been gay, the beast wouldn't have detected the aromatic fish smell wafting from Treadwell's girls genitalia after Treadwell raw dogged her superman style in an undersized compact tent, which by all experts accounts ... concentrated the intoxicating fishy stench. After deliberation, the United delegation of Northern Brown Bears decided fault could not be determined because by the time of the attack, half the Bears with a 12 mile radius were already closing in on the rotten salmon smell. The tribunal also ruled, culpability could not be determined because Treadwell screamed like a little wounded rabbit upon initial investigation (by Brother Bear and Smokey Bear) of the humane incursion, sounding much like a shreiking wombat in heat, leading the plaintiffs to believe it would only be humane to put this disturbed defective creature out of its misery. For their heroic judgement and selflessness, the United delegation of Northern Brown Bears along with the Northwestern Association of Black Bears, unanimously ruled in favour of the Bears and awarded these first responding Bears the Wooden Birch Medallions for their bravery and stoicism. Secondary responders were given honourable mentions. And that is why you don't camp with girls.
