>>1581308aw yea baby its greentext time
>be me>tree surgeon>got a job to do>local council has authorised the felling of a 500 year old oak>conservation orders suspended and we've got the contract>the oak is diseased and is on its way out>it's also right next to the motorway so it's only a matter of time before it drops a limb and kills somebody>old trees are an ecological burden>they make less O2, consume more water and nutrients and less CO2, and are less fertile>you need about seven or eight old oaks to get the same environmental "profit" as one young oak, but fifty young oaks to make up for the burden>in short, the tree's gotta go>suddenly, retards>threatened by tree huggers who report us to the National Trust>we're subcontracted by the National Trust so that does shit>story hits the local news, then regional papers as well>even got two minutes on BBC Points West (I suppose there's only so much that can be said about Choccos in Bristol)>with our fucking name on the hit piece>a petition starts and is sent around the local rotary clubs, nursing homes, and primary schools for some reason>it's issue number one at several MP surgeries (admittedly not a lot goes on in this part of the world)>anyway it works>the tree is saved>four months later God acts on what Man failed to do>the tree is struck by lightning and is fried, shit was rotten to the core>council hires us to finish it off>some retard takes our photo and posts it on the local "Spotted in [town]" Facebook group>dozens of posts saying that they'll never hire us>business actually increases thoughTurns out that all news is good news.
