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I was a really fucking stupid kid that thought animals wanted me to pet them as much as I wanted to pet them, which frequently resulted in me booking it after any living creature in the state of Florida
>bear? check
>panther? check
>deer? check
>skunks, opossums, and armadillos? triple check
>literal sharks in the ocean? you bet your ass
Apparently one time we were going on a nature walk and my parents had to turn around and leave the dog in the car so they could put the leash on me instead. My father maintains that the most offensive thing he's ever laughed at was the ACK sound I made when I clotheslined myself on the leash trying to run after a stray coyote
picrel is my parents keeping me away from dangerous animals
