>>470197>be 17 years old>be backpacking in WA along river valley>be hiking leg of the trail designed as a mountain bike course, so I'm dealing with tons of little hills>the topography haunts my dreams to this day>come to the last of like twenty one little buttfucking hills, this one dips into a large trench and then undulates upward>the fine, dedicated professionals at the United States Forest Service have spent time, money, and manpower creating a path around it for exhausted hikers like me>fuck that noise, I came here for adventure and I'm pissed off and frustrated>see downed tree spanning the gap of the ravine>decide I'm going to be a boss and take the Bridge to Terabithia instead, saving me all of two minutes>get halfway across the tree-bridge>look down>realize it's about a fifty foot drop and if I fall with my fifty pound pack I will surely at least break my legs if not land on my pack, destroying my equipment along with my spine>keep calm and carry on.jpg>get two-thirds of the way across>I begin to suddenly lose my balance>a low-hanging branch has caught the large flagpole atop my backpack where I display my American Flag (tm)>as I realize I'm about to die, I can only pray my family sues the Forest Service for not clearly marking the trails with 7ft clearance signs >begin to fall backwards and diagonally as my huge external frame pack acts as a gravitational doom anchor pulling me toward the forest floor>grab the branch and swing around 360 degrees on my heels like some sort of /out/ Michael Jackson, my flag whipping about>branch snaps back, I somehow end up facing the same direction, perfectly aligned with the tree>2spooky for me>get down on all fours and proceed to crawl like an inchworm across the rest of the way >promptly lie on my back and hyperventilate for a good fifteen minutesand that's the story of how my patriotism and bad decision making skills almost landed me in the middle of the woods with a broken spine
