>>2539171>be OP, gone camping with my CRKT® Woods Chogan™ T-Hawk>snuggled up for the night on my Therm-A-Rest® NeoAir® XLite™ NXT MAX self-inflating mattress in my Hyperlite Mountain Gear Ultamid 2>near dawn, wake up to strange noises outside>grab my trusty Petzl Swift RL headlamp and reach for my Woods Chogan™ T-Hawk>tent flap is suddenly torn open, a guy with a greasy mullet and a face like a bald weasel reeking of malt liquor and desperation pops his head in"Hey man... you gotta smoke?"
>I scream and fumble my Woods Chogan™ T-Hawk, which bounces off my Therm-A-Rest® NeoAir® XLite™ NXT MAX and straight through my Hyperlite Mountain Gear Ultamid 2, obliterating both of them>"Hey man, forget it, I just remembered I have half a pack in my sock.">he leaves as I burst into tears>I grab my Hyperlite Mountain Gear 2400 Windrider and exit my ruined tent, might as well head back home>my Woods Chogan™ T-Hawk cut the paracord hanging my food sack and I see a possum and three raccoons making off with contents>fall down and bruise my elbow on the way out, so I activate my Garmin® inReach™ and request a chopper>they tell me I'm not a white woman and to just hike out 