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>got discharged from the army in 2013
>had a lot of guilt/self hatred/other various mental issues with what I did while I was overseas
>also was a volunteer firefighter and saw some fucked up shit before I was in the army
>flash forward to 2014
>been in a lot of drunken fights, pushed a lot of friends away, had a really bad relationship with my parents
>go hiking by myself down a trail near the place I was staying at, at like 10pm
>get to a clearing by the river, it's where I used to swim a lot as a kid and there's a rope swing there
>sit down on one of the tree stumps and stare out at the water while smoking a cigarette
>all of a sudden, everything floods into my head- heartaches, my time in the army, my time in the fire department, my horrible relationship with my folks, how shitty I've acted towards people and the awful things I've done
>start bawling and can't stop for like 30 minutes
>sit there for a while, and call my mom at like 1am
