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>at cookout
>I look to my right and realize there is a massive wolf spider (picrel) in nearly the exact same spot as picrel
>I am arachnophobic
>I calm ask my brother at the grill to “not panic, but get ready to hit my shoulder”
>he looks up, screams, and slaps my face with a scorching hot greasy spatula
>the spider reacts by running up to my face
>my brother reacts by hitting me with the spatula again and squishing spider guts into my burning flesh