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Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 07 Aug 2021 06:26:22 No.2182585 View View Report

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>>2182551
>Be 650 lbs grizzly bear
>Be roaming around maliciously
>Encounter a gallant knight errant on an important quest
>Charge into combat because you are a stinky vindictive hairball
>Take the blade of the knight's polaxe to your front left shoulder
>Try to swat him off of his feet but your leg has gone limp due to the muscles being severed
>Try to bite at his arms instead before he can return on the backswing
>Bite at his vambrace, your teeth fail to gain purchase on the hardened oiled steel and your mouth snaps shut
>Ow my teeth
>Bite at his right greave, get your jaws around it and bite down as hard as you can
>The greave doesn't give way, and you have locked your head in place for when the hammerhead on the back of the polaxe sails home into your skull
>Fall over concussed, as the knight repeatedly stabs you in the neck and chest with the spike of the polaxe
>Be bleeding out
>Hear a rustling in the bushes down the path
>"NOOOooOoOOO, that creature can only be defeated by a brushgun that fires 40mm grenades from the side of a helicopter!"
>Roll your eyes over to the noise, it is a fell trail tranny
>"At last you reveal yourself to me abomination! I have come to slay you in name of leige and lord!" bellows the knight
>Battle for the fate of the grove ensues
>Bleed out before the fight concludes, in your last thought you deduce that it is unlikely for the knight to defeat the creature, as it is statistically more likely for it to kill itself instead
>Reincarnate as a fish

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