Hello /out/
I'm looking to buy some cheap-ish land out in midwest America but I've never really left the East Coast before. Researching all these states is a bit daunting, so I've come to ask for advice.

I'm looking for places that meet most of or all of my needs:
>low taxes
>low crime rates
>no arbitrary fees
>no arbitrary permits
>reasonable gun laws (re: less restrictive)
>clean soil
>no retarded irrigation laws (re: collecting rain water, man-made ponds/lakes, etc.)

Is there anywhere in the midwest or even the southwest that meets my requirements?