Backpacking to me is really confusing. Unlike some of you more lucky folks who live close to a woodland that require no permits or otherwise informative itinerary from your local Forest Service.. us who live in highly regulated areas must suffer the bureaucratic process in order to spend a few nights in the wilderness.

What trails are available? In which areas can I remote camp? What areas are off limits? What permits do I need? Whom do I contact to obtain said permits? Is there a no burn policy? Where can I park overnight? Do I need to inform the Forest Service that I'll be parking overnight somewhere?

There's simply not enough information online to direct one who wants to get into backpacking in a regulated region as to the above questions without needing to sift through hours upon hours of useless information to either find only a partial answer, or no answer at all.

How the FUCK am I supposed to do this?