>>1357671I loved my ex and believed in love.
Ex was an insecure mess, probably abused or some other shit. 5/10 but 7/10 face and 4/10 in bed. Always second guessing me, suspecting of me, and abusing me emotionally. Like caressing a dog and the slapping it. As a counterpart, she loved /out/, Tolkien, old people life (tea, walks in nature, chilling out), the countryside life, sex (even though she was bad) and I'd like to believe she fancied me.
We broke up ten or eleven times and nine or ten times I tried my best sacrificing everything like a retard instead of ditching her. Was my first gf as well, I thought I couldnt do any better (and still havent done any better).
Overall it was shit but the good moments were gold. We had a little universe we shared together, and was the person I felt closest with.
I'm probably masochistic with self esteem problems as well (but not in her deranged harmful) and on the spectrum (I always tried explaining instead of manning up and putting my cock in her mouth) and she's a single mom, so go figure (but I never ever payed for anything that wasnt mine).
