ITT: post your shitty caravan and it's specs

Condition - No leaks but very rusty, pinhole leaks in tires, holes everywhere, floor on verge of collapsing, probably won't move again.
Berths - 1 or 2, bed is extendable and have enough mattresses to sleep two people comfortably or one very comfy boi.
Heating - Wood stove, made from broken gas stove
Facilities - aqua roll, sink (waste pipe goes to ????) portable bucket loo with that blue shit in it.
Axes - one hatchet and one large
Residents - mouse, ate my fucking cornmeal and shat everywhere
Etc - chopping block, chairs, cable-spool tables, moss.
Price - You can only one-up me on price if someone PAID YOU to take yours away, because mine was so shit that someone gave it to me for free.

When I got it it was leaking pretty bad down one side but I sealed it up with bitumen tape and it's been good for years.